My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
