Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
