i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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