He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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