The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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