Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
