it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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