It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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