I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
