Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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