I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
