I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
