I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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