i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
