But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
