he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
