know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
