scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
