I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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