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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
