she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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