Where is the hickey?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
