I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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