What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
