you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
