i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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