Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
