These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
