Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
