I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
pop tarts are not kleenex
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
