Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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