i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
