well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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