And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
