i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
