i think i have herpe
just one?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
