Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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