Do you still have your period?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
