doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
