just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
