I hate all girls vehemently.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You ruined the universe
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
