Soap is not a condiment
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
