I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
