Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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