we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
