Christians are straight up FREAKS
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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