did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
