You made me cry and you don't even care
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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