i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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