Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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